a lackluster burger

We've been craving burgers for a while, but we wanted to try something other than Father's Office or Umami Burger, something fresh and new. So we went to Cube on La Brea. We metroed via red line and took a bus: big effing mistake. Buses blow in Los Angeles. When we finally arrived, this valley trash practically had to beg for service. Chrissy began to get a little loud and ghetto and surprise, surprise, a server finally approached. He turned out to be the wine manager.

To start, the Fatted Calf Sicilian and Mt. Tam. The cheese was thick and creamy but lacked that funk we we like, way too mild for our liking.

Then braised baby octopus served on top of grilled endive. The octo was charred and tender, the endive bitter. This was good.


Hamburger, sans truffles, with shallots, cheese, and arugula. Paper thin, crispy potatoes. While the potatoes were interesting and perfectly edible, they were a total cop out. We want fries with our burger. And we want our burger to be medium rare when we order it that way. We had to send our burger back once, but at least the server wasn't a dick about it. The bun was totally dry which made the burger seem dry, even though it was cooked correctly the second time around. And because we're crazy for brussel sprouts, we got a side of brussel spouts braised with rosemary. This was mos def a miss. Not tender, and because they braised them, not crispy either. B-sprouts can and should be fun to eat. These weren't. Lastly, ricotta cavatelli with bolognese and a sprinkle of parmesan. This was fine, though we won't be coming back for more.


For sweets, we ordered the butterscotch and chocolate pots de creme. Our favorite, the butterscotch, was silky, slightly salty, and a bit sweet. If there's a next time, we may take a cue from the skinny girls sitting next to us and order the cookies. Highly unlikely we'll be back though. We really wanted to like this place because most of their ingredients are locally and sustainably sourced. But the food was just not cooked properly. What good is utilizing great ingredients if you don't really know what to do with them?


Cube
615 N. La Brea Avenue
Los Angeles, California 90036
(323) 939-5520

nasty bits and beer

How does one sustain oneself for a long night of karaoke and beer? By eating at Nanbankan of course! We found out about this place through a friend's rec. The jist of the restaurant is Japanese bbq or yakitori: stuff like skewerd nasty bits and other tasty bites. Here, we'll show you:


We started off with some wonderfully chewy chicken hearts and blistered shishito peppers. Don't forget the chicken necks. This was followed by some overcooked, but very tasty scallops on a skewer.

Our server nearly refused to give us the seaweed. This always happens to us when we order at various asian restaurants, but we are not quitters. We insisted. In the end, we got it. Like stewed okra or muluhiya, this is definitely a very tasty textural experience (refer to the photos below).


The seaweed dish is on the slimier side, but it was delicious.


Agadashi Tofu--you gotta get this. Marinated and fried tofu in an amazing broth.


Yellowtail kama and black cod. Sad to say we ate these before we remembered to take photos. We appreciated that these were cooked to perfection.

We skipped dessert and stuck to our stash of dates almonds and PBR at the karaoke bar.

We'll be back for the chicken cartilage.

Nanbankan
11330 Santa Monica Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90189
(310) 478-1591

Sausages and Beer

Wurstkuche - We metroed over here: the red to the gold line. Walked in and it was packed like a butt, but we lucked out and grabbed some seats at the bar. Once we sat, the bartender notified us that we had to wait in that long line behind the brick wall and to the right to order our food. Confused, we sat a while longer and ordered some beers, taking advantage of our prime seats. Alas, there was no people watching to be done, so we focused on the menu instead. Loved the selection of German and Belgian beers. Extra points for the friendly bartenders who made recommendations to us. After getting toasty, we ditched our seats and ordered a couple of sausages: the hot Italian and the rattlesnake and rabbit. Sausages were good, but we think a lot of things are tasty when toasty. Also, we should mention how good the Belgian fries with the chipotle ketchup. Beer and fries go hand and hand for us. Loved how we could also order beers behind the brick wall, but the back is sort of cramped and the people watching is no match for the front of the house. Eat dinner somewhere before you come here. Beers and belgian fries are a must here. Sausages are secondary. If you are metroing, like we were, make sure you leave on time unless you're filthy rich and don't mind dishing out major cash for cab ride to the valley. Curfew is about midnight.


Wurstkuche
800 E 3rd St
Los Angeles, CA 90013
(213) 687-4444

Vegas baby, yeah!

So sometimes you need to get away to fight the new year's blues, and that is exactly what we did. We planned a last minute trip on a very tight budget. Since we are drunkards and fat asses, we didn't do much gambling, but we did eat and drink quite a bit. Here's the run down:

Settebello - First off, the suburbs of Vegas reminds us of the valley: nothing but shiny new strip malls ridden with chain restaurants. Settebello may be the one redeeming quality in Henderson. Though it may not be the most authentic Neapolitan pizza it did hit the spot after a five hour road trip. Let's just say that if Pita Pockets and a pizza joint were to have a baby, this would be it. The dough, not chewy like an average pizza was strikingly similar to laffah bread.

Lotus of Siam - Hollywood better watch out because this place is representing in a major way. First up, prawns in a blanket. These are perfectly self-explanatory, crispity crunchity wonton fried shrimp. Second, jack fruit curry. Unlike your usual curry, this was more soup-like than anything we've had. In all honesty, we weren't quite sure how to eat this. After pouring it on rice we decided to just shovel into our mouths with a spoon. Third, northern style sausage served with fresh herbs and raw ginger. Last, but mos def not least, hoh mok plar. Something about this dish spoke to us. It whispered sweet nothings into our ears. It told us to come back on our way out of Las Vegas. We did. It was closed. Note to selves: Lotus of Siam is closed for lunch over the weekend. So don't plan on ordering thee hoh mok plar again. Don't think about ordering the pounded jackfruit and definitely don't dare think about trying the Northern pork curry. You'll just end up driving away in tears.

Mt. Everest India's Cuisine - Our brown friend tipped us off to this place. We needed a meal after our big Lotus of Siam disappointment. Indian buffet is the only acceptable buffet style in our book. If you are on a budget, eat here because it's solid. It isn't the most spectacular of Indian buffets but you won't be let down. However, beware of the food coma that ensues. We took an hour long nap in the car at the Pistol Pete's Casino.

Burger Bar - We walked two and a half hours to get here. Apparently that's how long it takes to walk from one end of the strip to the other. Beeper in tow, we walked to the bar a few doors down and ordered ourselves a couple of brewskies and got to watch the bartender craft a couple of yards for their classy clientele. While you have the option of ordering set chef's burgers, we opted to create our own. The burgers were fine, just not memorable. The fries were cold. New Year's resolution #1: if the fries are cold, send them back.

BLT Burger - Forget the burgers and fries and just order two milkshakes. These perfectly thick, tasty milkshakes were fabulous and so was watching the stumbling tube-dress wearing bitches leaving the club with their heals off. If you come to Vegas, you must stay at the Mirage.

Settebello

140 S Green Valley Pkwy
Henderson, NV 89012

(702) 222-3556

Lotus of Siam

953 E Sahara Avenue
Las Vegas, NV 89104

(702) 735-3033

Mt. Everest India's Cuisine

3641 W Sahara Ave
Las Vegas, NV 89102

(702) 892-0950

Burger Bar

Mandalay Bay
3930 Las Vegas Blvd S
Las Vegas, NV 89136

(702) 632-9364

BLT Burger

The Mirage
3400 Las Vegas Blvd S
Las Vegas, NV 89109

(702) 792-7888

New York food review

Here is a quick run down of eats in NYC. Please excuse the lack of pictures, we have a hard time pulling out the cameras because we don't want to lose our street cred and look like the assholes on yelp. We'll try next time:

DBGB - Order the blood sausage and nothing else. Ask not to be seated in Jenna's station. Be sure to specify that you want tap water unless you want to pay $5 for a fancy shmancy bottle filled with tap water.

Locanda Verde (a robert dinero restaurant) - We're sure you've already heard all of the raving reviews for this place. This is what we ordered: tripe with egg, sardines, priests' collars, and oil poached cod. For dessert, a warm gingerbread cake. We'll spare you another lengthy review and just say that you cannot go wrong with any of these choices. Also, make sure you get dessert. There is a reason pastry chef Karen DeMasco was on the Martha Stewart Show. Extra points for the fab people watching at the bar, just make sure your dining partner doesn't mind to be ignored throughout the meal.

Motorino in the East Village - Pizza so good, we ordered two! We love liquid lunch: a grape juice like sparkling wine. Began lunch with the roasted beet salad. Then, the Soppresatta Picante pizza. For dessert, and because every good meal needs a dessert, we ordered the Margherita pizza. This is no heavy handed Di Fara NYC type pizza; grease won't run down your wrists and you won't sop any of it up with your crust. There are no women blotting their pizzas, thank god. Slices are perfectly charred, chewy, and foldable. Gentlemen, leave your ladies at home. The server here is hot and chatted up a recent NYC implant. Stick with pizza here!

L'Arte Del Gelato - Here's a trick: to avoid long lines eat ice cream on a night where the temperatures register below 20 degrees and the wind is ablowin'. We had a scoop of chocolate hazelnut and pumpkin. Oh so creamy. Then run across the street and meet up with the fellas at the Wafels and Dinges truck. Have them make you a fresh waffle, like we did. We're soft and chewy kinda girls, so we ordered one liege wafel and chose their favorite gingerbread-like spread. No, they don't make the spread from scratch and yes, there have been rumors that their waffles are made from a mix, but when your dinner reservations are at 10:30pm and you're looking for a quick satisfying snack, we promise your stomach won't perceive the difference.


Diner - Wow, did we feel out of place, or what? Chrissy left her black framed glasses, and boy, did she regret it! The anorexic hipster girl crying at the bar must have forgotten her's as well. The people watching didn't disappoint; but Shiri's beer did in a major way. Too bad we can't remember what it was because it tasted like ass. We ordered a delicious raw kale salad with sherry vinaigrette and dried cherries and creamy cauliflower soup. Next, a roasted half chicken with an over cooked breast and cheese burger that was cooked a perfect medium rare, grease and blood just beginning to soak through the bun. Bottom line: bring your black framed glasses and flannel and stick to a burger and beer. For dessert, cab it to Clover Club and enjoy some tasty cocktails and lively conversations. The unusually sociable bartender tipped us off that this was not your average speakeasy. Next time we'll be sure to sit at the bar and join in.

Joseph Leonard - We were greeted with a smile which rarely happens. Started off with a couple of cocktails: a bloody mary with a side of beer and a house made spiked lemonade. For apps, we ordered the soggy toast and mushrooms topped with an egg (loves it!), the shrimp and grits (also tasty), and the bone marrow. Now, we need to take a minute and discuss this last dish. Anyone who knows anything about having a good time knows that the very act of removing that gelatinous, unctuous, gold from the bone and spreading it on a slice of toasted bread is perhaps the pinnacle of life's happiness, and to deny us that right is not only immoral but unethical. Needless to say, we felt a bit jipped. Next, we split the autumn stuffing and a side of brussel sprouts with sriracha. Avoid the stuffing; it was a mushy mess with no crispy crust. Until this day I'm still apologizing to Chrissy for not allowing her to order some entrees. Next time. We did, however, order dessert. Pudding in a cup with whipped cream and cookie crumbles. Give in.

Num Pang - We were hung over and wandering in and out cabs all while soaking wet. This Cambodian sandwich was definitely a solid snack but so hard to find for two valley girls. We split a pork sandwich--toasted bread, chili mayo, pickles, and herbs. If you're in the area, you should stop in.

The Brooklyn Star - No pressure to get here early since they serve brunch from 12-4, so go ahead and sleep in. The place was packed so we had to wait a bit, but this gave us time to study the menu. We ordered the plain corn bread (you can get it with jalapenos and bacon if your heart desires), the biscuits and sausage gravy with scrambled cheesy eggs, and the shrimp and grits with fried eggs. If you have no qualms with having dumps like a truck, what, what, then go ahead, order the biscuits and gravy. And if that truly is the case, also be sure to order the cinnamon roll and let us know how it is.

Katz's Delicatessen - No orgasms will be had here due to the food. Even seriously hung over, all we could think about was how far superior Langer's pastrami sandwiches were than the ones we were eating; the one time we yearned to be in Los Angeles. Ordering was effing confusing! Waay complicated for two drunk, rained on bitches. We walked up to random counters until we finally lucked out and found our man with the hot Nuyorican accent. We ordered a rueben sandwich and some fat ass steak fries. The fries were warm but the meat was dry and the bread lacked that lovely chew that Langer's rye has. Even so, we won't lie, it sort of hit the spot.

Tia Pol - Like moths to a flame, we just keep coming back for more. Pitchers of refreshing sangria. Order one while you wait for a table. Once you're seated start off with the artichoke salad, patatas bravas, and fried garbanzos. Ask your server to keep a menu at the table with you, as you'll be wanting more. Order another pitcher of sangria. If the shishito peppers, blistered and warm with a sprinkle of sea salt, are on special, get those. Go ahead and order the razor clams and cockles and the pescado en adobo, but skip the octopus terrine and the gildas. Pray that you sit next to people who like to share.

Broadway Dive Bar - There is a decent selection of beer at the right price here. Even better, you can get pitchers and listen to MJ all night long. Damien, an old man from upstate called us "beautiful" and the bartenders are chill as fuck here. Hollah, Damien! This is our spot.

Gracefully - Right around the corner from the apartment we rented, not only do they have a great selection of east coast beers like Brooklyn Brewery and Dogfish Head, they have hot and spicy shrimp chips too! Needless to say we stopped here for a fix before and after dinner nearly every night.

Imperial Palace - We were the only non Chinese people there, so we knew we were onto something. We ordered way too much food but it was all good: clams with black bean sauce, some spongy braised noodle dish, pan fried flounder, and pea shoots with garlic. The beauty of whole fried fish is that their fins become these deliciously crispy fish chips. Everything was good, but the waiter was very odd. I think he liked Shiri a little too much, because he stood there staring as we filled out the check. Deal with the foreignness and eat here. This place had a very extensive menu with some very interesting dishes that we haven't seen at most Chinese joints. We will be back.

Russ and Daughters - Every trip needs a great snackie for the road home. For this, we stopped into Russ and Daughters for a couple of sandwiches. Two bagels and cream cheese with lox and onions, please. Chrissy was worried that the stench would offend our fellow travelers on the plane. I assured her that once were in the air she would need that sandwich to absorb her tears. The sandwiches were a hit. Our return back home, less so.

Until next time, New York...

xoxo

-c & s

DGBG
299 Bowery Street
New York, NY 10003
(212) 933-5300

Locanda Verde
377 Greenwich St
New York, NY 10013
(212) 925-3797

Motorino
349 E 12th St
New York, NY 10003

L'Art del Gelato
75 7th Ave
New York, NY 10014
(212) 924-0803

Wafels and Dinges
www.wafelsanddinges.com

Diner
85 Broadway
Brooklyn, NY 11211
(718) 486-3077

Clover Club

210 Smith St
Brooklyn, NY 11201

(718) 855-7939

Joseph Leonard
170 Waverly Pl
New York, NY 10014
(646) 429-8383

Num Pang
21 E 12th St
New York, NY 10003
(212) 255-3271

The Brooklyn Star
33 Havemeyer St
Brooklyn, NY 11211
(718) 599-9899

Katz's Delicatessen
205 E Houston St
New York, NY 10002
(212) 254-2246

Tia Pol 205 10th Avenue
New York, NY 10011
(212) 675-8805

Broadway Dive Bar
2662 Broadway
New York, NY 10025
(212) 865-2662

Gracefully
28 Avenue A
New York, NY 10009
(212) 677-8181

Imperial Palace
13613 37th. Avenue
Flushing, NY 11354
(718) 939-3501

Russ and Daughters
179 E Houston St
New York, NY 10002
(212) 475-4880

yalla yalla: a shiri/chrissy food blog

Anyone who knows us, knows we eat a lot. We spend a lot of our hard-earned cash on going out to eat and have come across some pretty tasty eats in our day. We figured that it is about time we write about these places because they deserve props and we don’t want to forget about these little gems. However, there have been some awful experiences that will be duly noted on this blog. Being the haters that we are, we will make these nasty meals known on this forum as there are too many shitty/mediocre establishments out there that should not be supported. We do not claim to be the ultimate gurus of taste and realize the each person’s take on food is unique, but there is no need to willy nilly it and walk into a joint that you know nothing about when we’ve been there already. We think it’s safe to say you can trust us over the fools on yelp. While we still use yelp from time to time, we think reviewers who give the local Cheesecake Factory or an all you can eat sushi bar on Ventura Blvd. a 5 start rating are a little untrustworthy and unreliable. Ya feel us?

We hope you find our blog useful as well as humorous. We are a little late on hopping on the food blog bandwagon, so we said to ourselves, “Yalla, yalla!,” which basically means “hurry the fuck up already” in Arabic and Hebrew. So we have finally done it! Now we shall see if we can actually keep it up…

– c & s